when i was little, this was one of the hardest parts of the Bible to understand. why would God call me to love my enemies? did i even have enemies?
now, as a twenty year old young woman, who went through the entire k-12 education system as well as three years of college, i am beginning to understand what this means. i didn't think i would have enemies, until i was hurt.
i spent quite a bit of time in upper elementary, junior high, and high school just wanting to fit in. and i never did. i was a part of many different friend groups and people groups. i would find one that i thought might work, until i started to get the feel i didn't fit in. i would stop getting invited to things, left on the outside of conversations, only acknowledged when i pushed for acknowledgement. i had multiple people tell me they just didn't like me, which just frustrated me and confused me. and after this happened enough, i started to build a wall around my heart and my essence. i wouldn't let anyone see the real taylor, because i was too afraid if they did that they would just leave like so many others had. this highly impacted relationships in college that could have been good relationships, but because i was too afraid to be real, those relationships didn't continue. i became clingy, because when i found someone who would be my friend, i was so afraid that i would lose them that i would do anything i could to keep them. i began to trust in myself rather than in my Father. i was hurt. i was broken. i was afraid. but most of all, i became angry. this is not a reaction that i'm proud of, just fyi.
out of my hurt stemmed a bitterness and anger against the people that hurt me. and sadly, some of that bitterness and anger was until quite recently. i had thought i had dealt with it, but it began to eek out in unseen ways with little comments i would make here and there. and God began to point out to me how wrong that was. some of these grudges had been held on to for years and years, and i still had yet to forgive them. why? why was it so hard for me to forgive others, when God so easily forgave me?
regrettably, i often find it harder to forgive others who claim to follow the same God that i do. it's fairly easy to forgive someone who does not understand their need for Christ, or who does not believe in the Bible. it is much harder to forgive someone who lives the same lifestyle that you do, who reads and follows the Bible, and who seeks to serve the same God that i do. what i am about to write is primarily about forgiving other Christians.
i found it rather frightening, and scary, and condemning, and convicting, and shaming and embarrassing...that i disliked so many people. and some of them were for very stupid reasons. i realized that i tended to judge people rather easily, and not talk to certain people just because i did not think they were "worthy" of my time. how arrogant and stupid is that? how prideful? how much does this reveal about my heart? when i began to see the darkness of my anger, i felt very ashamed. and i still do.
so i began to figure out what i needed to do to change this. first, why was it important to forgive others? i mean if they really had hurt me, why did i need to forgive them? this seemed like a rather elementary concept, but still. why.
be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
as God in Christ forgave you.
ephesians 4:32
bearing with one another and,
if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you,
so you
also must forgive.
colossians 3:13
reason number one: Christ forgave me. i am called to forgive other people because Christ has forgiven me. it is as simple as that. if Christ kept the same grudges, held the same kind of distaste and bitterness for me that i did for other people, i would be dead. literally. and i would be spending eternity in hell. i am called to forgive others because He has forgiven me.
for if you forgive others
their trespasses,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you,
but if you do not forgive
others their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses
matthew 6:14-15
do not repay evil for evil or
reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a
blessing.
1 peter 3:9
reason number two: we are promised forgiveness and blessings ourselves, if we forgive and bless others. this might be a bit more of a selfish reason, but matthew clearly states that if we do not forgive others our Father will not forgive us.
love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
luke 6:27-28
reason number three: we are called to love. we are not called to hate. we are called to love.
here's a secret. God created everyone. He designed everyone, everyone was made in the image of God. humans were created in the image of God, whether or not you believe in predestination. our image mirrors that of the Lord's. now this does not just mean our physical appearance, but rather our heart, our soul, our mind, our feelings, our being. it is all a part of our image, and that image is the same as the one who created us. therefore, our image was created holy, just as He is holy.
this means me, and the person i cannot seem to forgive, were both created by God. we are both being used by Him. we are both glorifying Him. we are both His children. ouch.
here's a second secret. humans are sinful beings, and therefore we are not perfect. our image is holy, but sin has corrupted that image. sin impacts us, but it does not impact the holiness of God. however, we are still sinners. no matter how hard we try to do things right, we are fallen human beings and therefore we will fail. others will fail. i will hurt someone else, and they will hurt me. this is a fact of life that cannot be changed, this side of the fall. the best we can do is to try our best, and trust God for the rest.
here's the third and final secret, and this is something that God has revealed to me and taught me over the past six months. we serve a creative and vast and infinite God. because God and His might and power are so big, i, in my infinite and small mind, will never comprehend all that He is. never. i cannot. i do believe that He teaches and reveals different aspects of His character to different people. i think that this allows for the differentiation of conscience sometimes in compassion, as well as it is a testimony to the greatness of God. things affect people differently. for example, God has really been emphasizing the aspect of lukewarmness in my life. meaning? that if i am going to serve Him, i am going to serve Him with my whole life. lukewarmness is a very big deal to me, and super important. however, for someone else, God may be emphasizing His aspect of justice or His aspect of Christianity or something like that. God teaches different people different things. all a part of the same God, and glorifying the same God, but different from person to person. He works in people in different ways.
so forgiveness, in some part comes down to trust.
when it came to think about forgiving those people that i could not forgive, here's what i began to consider.
one, i had to realize that they too were a fallen being. they were not perfect, and they could not ever be perfect.
two, they too were saved by grace. God uses them just as much as He uses me, and He loves them just as much as He loves me. this was a hard one to grasp at first, because it angered me that He could love them so much, just as He loved me, especially after how they had hurt me. but then i realized that they too were His children, and He loved them just as much as He loved me.
three, provided that they were following Him, i had to learn to trust that God would change their lives. God has the power to do whatever He wants. He had the power to stop them from hurting me, but He didn't. He allowed it for some reason, and so it was up to me as to whether or not i was going to trust God to change their life. i am not responsible for others' relationships with God. i am only responsible for my own. and so all that i can do is to trust that He will work in others lives, because He can in powerful ways, in His own timing.
we are called to forgive. we are commanded to forgive. this is between us and God. sometime this must be a choice, a choice to forgive others. but i have found that when you forgive, your life is much free-er than before. when you trust everything to God, you are free to just love with the love that He has shown and given you, and He will take care of the rest. i know this is not easy, believe me i know. but God has promised to never leave us or forsake us, and to give us the strength to do what He has called us to do. He has called us to forgive, so He will give us strength to forgive.
so i ask you: who do you need to forgive, and how much longer are you going to allow them to hold you captive?
