a potter's hands

i was listening to a podcast today. actually, i was listening to a couple podcasts: one on the gospels and one on marriage. the gospel one is the one i’d like to focus on for the moment (though the marriage one will play in here a bit).

the podcasts were from solid rock church in portland, oregon. the gospels one started out with looking at the entirety of the gospel, or the “good news”…i.e. the entire Bible. and they started with creation. the guy who was speaking said that God created all the creatures of the earth. God made adam the head of the creatures, the dude in charge. adam was the one who gave all the other creatures names and was put there to take care of the garden and everything inside the garden. now when mr. podcast guy was talking about this, i started getting this mental image…let me try to paint that image for you.

picture this.

you’ve got a guy (i’ll give you a hint -- that’s God). well God decides one day that He wants to show off His creativity, His power. He wants to create. so He makes this world, because that’s definitely what most people do when they want to be creative…they create an entire universe. but He’s God, He can do whatever He wants. so He creates a world.

now try to picture Him. i pictured him as an older gentlemen with a kind face and a big white tunic (yes stereotypical i know but go with me here) and a leather apron. now that we’ve pictured God, picture Him standing above a wooden table. He’s creating, molding things out of clay. now i pictured Him creating all of the creatures: hand-placing the spots on the giraffes, making the puppy tails, smoothing out the cat whiskers, etc. and then He comes to us. God created man in His own image, and He created male and female. He put His own personal touch and creativity on everything, He made everything unique.

now if you made something that you poured your energy and creativity into, i’m assuming that you would really like it. in fact you would most probably love it, care about it, want the best for it. meaning you wouldn’t just let some schmuck come in and steal your creation, or damage your creation. you would protect it, make sure that no harm could come to it and that it wouldn’t break. that’s how I imagined God feeling about His creation. He made us, unique and different, and created each of us and knows us personally (psalm 139). i mean if we feel that way, then how much more does the One who created us feel that way? we are His, we belong to Him. He loves us, and wants the best for us (jeremiah 29:11). we are His creation.

but then something happened that God had known about, but it wasn’t a part of His perfect plan. He created us to live in relationship with Him, and be with Him. we were created for relationship, that’s part of the reason we crave relationship so much. the reason eve was even created was because God said that it was not good for adam to be alone, so He made eve. we were created for relationship, and for relationship with God. but then sin entered the picture. sin creates a wall between us and God, it impacts us and says that we cannot live with Him. its like a black goop…it permeates our lives in everything. if we let it, it will push God and His goodness out of our lives.

so. God intervened. He knew that sin wouldn’t allow us to be with Him, or experience Him in His fullness like we were created to. sin was a barrier, it was a gap. so God sent His son to earth. now this is the part i want you to get. God sent His son to earth. this is kinda one of those monumental life-changing moments. without Jesus, we would all be going to hell because of sin. sin had invaded our lives so much that we needed something to atone for our sin, because God and sin can’t live in the same room (essentially). if God hadn’t sent Jesus, we would be going to hell. I mean c’mon now, we deserve hell because we rejected God, we said no to Him, we gave into temptation. and that choice changed man-kind. it allowed the sin nature to join our human nature. it was separation from God. and so, God in His grace and mercy, sent Jesus to earth.

think about when you were little. you know when you stole that cookie off the counter, you would usually get punished for it right? like no dessert for the rest of the day or go to your room till dad gets home (always hated that one) or something. well what if someone stepped in and said “i’ll go to her room instead”, or “let me not have dessert for the rest of the day”, you would be blown away because why would someone step in to take the punishment for something that they didn’t do? You know that you deserve the punishment, because you did the wrong thing and that other person was completely innocent, and so they don’t deserve it. but because that person loved you so much, they were willing to take the punishment for you. you would feel so loved and valued and special after that, to think that someone cared that much about you? that is basically what Jesus did for us. He stepped in and said “let me die for him so that he doesn’t have to. yes I know he deserves it, but let me pay that price because I love him”. okay. do you even fully understand what this means? it means we don’t have to die. just take a second to think about that. we. dont. have. to. die. someone who loves us so very much was willing to take our death for us. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

but here’s the deal. i don’t know if we ever even realize that. i know i take it for granted sometimes. being raised in a christian household, the concept of “Jesus died to take away my sins” is so known that i could say it in my sleep. no big deal. but when you actually think about it, yes it is a big deal. and it makes me wonder, do i actually believe it? do i really believe that Jesus died to take away my sins? really? because i think if i did i would live my life a little bit differently. when you put your life in the light of God and His grace and mercy, it makes you realize something…at least it makes me realize something. and that is that i only exist [one] because of God and His grace, and [two] i only need to live my life to praise Him. that’s it. that. is. it. then why don’t i live my life like that? why don’t i live my life for the glory of Him? why don’t i live my life telling everyone about the One who saved me from death? do i really believe what i claim to believe? do you? and does anyone else know that? live in the grace and freedom you have been given and claim it as your life. because when we pledge our life to Him, He dang well better be our life. 

שתיקה

"i cried out to God for help; i cried out to God to hear me. when i was in distress, i sought the Lord; at night i stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted. i remembered you, o God, and i groaned; i mused, and my spirit grew faint. You kept my eyes from closing; i was too troubled to speak. i thought about the former days, the years of long ago; i remembered my songs in the night. my heart mused and my spirit inquired: will the Lord reject forever? will He never show his favor again? has His unfailing love vanished forever? has His promised failed for all time? has God forgotten to be merciful? has He in anger withheld His compassion? then i thought, 'to this i will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High.' i will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, i will remember your miracles of long ago. i will mediate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. your ways, O God, are holy. what god is so great as our God? you are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples." psalm 77:1-14

i've been thinking a lot lately about silence. i remember my choir director once told me that even silence is singing. you don't have any noise coming out, but it is still very much a part of singing. without silence, people would just continue to sing and sing and sing. but composers write silence into their works, to give their piece body and character, to give it a certain feeling. it gives you a time to reflect. a time to think. a time to be left alone to your thoughts. silence is as much a part of music as the notes are. and silence is as much a part of our lives as the noisy or busy parts are.

there are many times recently in my life that i have asked and asked and prayed and prayed and pleaded and pleaded for direction in my life, for some sort of answer concerning something, and yet God remains silent. and i'm not going to lie, that can be super frustrating. there are passages that say "ask and it will be given". well my reaction, if i were to be honest, is usually "God, i'm asking, and you aren't responding or giving or anything. a little help would be nice, thank you very much". i know that's probably not the Christian response or the Biblical one or anything. but that's how i feel sometimes.

but here's the deal. just like silence is as much a part of music as the singing is, silence is just as much a part of  speaking as the actually speaking part.

here's what i love about king david. kind david was chosen by God to be king, and it is so evident in so many ways how God spoke to him, how God used him, how God was working in david's life. yet david still made so many mistakes. the above passage was actually written by him. now you wouldn't think that someone like david would feel that God was distant and silent. but he did, and he wrote it down here. in the first part of the psalm, he explained his frustration and his irritation. he said how he was feeling. i cried out to God for help; i cried out to God to hear me. when i was in distress, i sought the Lord. will the Lord reject forever? will He never show his favor again? david was lost. david was confused. he didn't understand why God would be silent. he too wondered and questioned. but then he ends it with a solution, with something to do. while i think david was about as distressed and frustrated as i sometimes am, he came up with a solution (and normally i don't...i just remain distressed and frustrated). he said that in the times where he feels God is distant and stagnant, then he will choose to remember how God worked long ago. that he will remember the deeds of the Lord from long ago. that he will choose to still praise God.

i guess my purpose in writing this was to share that passage with you. i can't write it much better than david did, so i will just let the passage speak. but i challenge you, like i will be challenging myself, to remember God's faithfulness in times of silent. we never know why He is silent, or maybe He isn't silent at all but He's just not speaking the way we were expecting. but nonetheless, He will always be faithful. so remember how He has worked in your life, and how He has spoken. and then wait expectantly for Him to speak again. but maybe He orchestrates those times of silence for us to reflect on His work in our lives, i don't really know. but i do know this: that God has a plan for our lives, plans not to harm us but give us a hope and a future and that he works all things together for the good of those who love Him. He works in our lives for His glory. in the end, i am confident that He will be glorified, even if it takes times of silence.

la vérité de Dieu

"for they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. amen." - Romans 1:25 NASB

i was reading through romans yesterday and came across this verse. now i've read romans probably close to twenty times in my lifetime, and i could have sworn that i've never read this verse before. i must have, because i have read this chapter. in fact the verse was underlined, so yes, i have read it before. but i never have thought about it. what does it mean to exchange the truth of God for a lie? and why did that resonate so much in my heart?

i've been wrestling with a lot of doubt lately, though i think that every one does at some point in their college career. i think, overall, the biggest doubt that has crossed my mind in the past year is this: why am i alive. which stems into almost a million and one sub-doubts, like did God really create me with a purpose, does He really love me, why am I here, what am I supposed to be doing, is God really working in my life, is God really directing my life, does he really have a plan? i'm sure you each have your own sub-doubts you could add to this. a friend told me a couple days ago that he knew he was exactly where God wanted him to be right now. who knows about the future, but for right now he was sure he was where he was supposed to be. and it got me thinking: am i where God wants me to be right now?

lets look at the word truth.

truth

   [trooth]  Show IPA

noun

1.

the true or actual state of a matter

2.

a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like

3.

the state or character of being true.

4.

actuality or actual existence.

now truth actually stems from the word true.

true

   [troo]  Show IPA 

adjective

1.

being in accordance with the actual state or conditions;conforming to reality or fact; not false

2.

real; genuine; authentic

3.

sincere; not deceitful

4.

firm in allegiance; loyal; faithful; steadfast

5.

being or reflecting the essential or genuine character of something

so truth is real, genuine, authentic, sincere, not deceitful. 

one of the biggest ways that i think the devil gets to people is through lies, especially to women. even in the last week i can think of many lies i myself have thought, as well as many lies i have heard. lies like i'm not good enough, not pretty/handsome enough, not smart enough, i don't have enough friends, i'm not very talented, i'm not that cool, God can't use me, i've done too much to be used by God, i'm not **insert qualification here**;. so then we take those lies and start to believe them. but the lies work like little bulldozers: they tear down the walls made out of truths. but the more they tear down the more energy and power they gain, because the walls of truth are getting shorter and shorter and can't keep very many lies out. then they replace the walls made of truth with walls made of lies. 

i remember last week thinking that God didn't really have a plan for my life. i mean, how could He? i'm not incredibly smart, and i can't play sports to save my life, and i have so many heart issues that i can't seem to deal with - so why in the world would He have a plan for me. however, God's truth says that He knows the plans He has for me, and they are plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future (jeremiah 29:11). but as soon as i started to even contemplate the devil's lie, i began to exchange God's truth for a lie. 

how about dealing with self worth? not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not the right hair, etc. well the truth of God says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made (psalm 139:14). exchanging the truth of beauty for a lie.

the lie that God doesn't really love you or want to bless you? it is God's desire to lavish his love on you (1 john 3:1) and he will rejoice over you with singing (zephaniah 3:17) for you are his treasured possession (exodus 19:5) exchanging the truth of love for a lie.

what about thinking that God will never use your desires, that He won't give you a job you actually enjoy? that you are destined to doing what you don't like? it is God who gave you the desires (philippians 2:13, ephesians 3:20) and he created you with them. exchanging the truth of creativity for a lie.

you've done too much for Him to love/use you? He is not counting your sins (2 corinthians 5:18-19) and there is nothing that can seperate you from His love (romans 8:38-39) exchanging the truth of forgiveness for a lie.

we exchange the truth of God for a lie almost all the time. but thats actually really stupid. because were taking the words of the devil, someone who is know for lying and stealing and cheating and there are countless accounts of his deceit in the Bible, to replace God's word, someone who is faithful and true, who never lies, who has never given us a reason not to believe him. if you think about it, its really stupid.

final thing: context. 

"for since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. for even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened...therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. for they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. amen...and just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved" (romans 1:20-21, 24-25, 28)

exchanging the truth of God for a lie is not a measly matter. it is actually quite ghastly. because these people exchanged God's truth for a lie, they dug themselves a dugout in the heart of the devils deceit and eventually God just gave them over to the deceit. 

so i guess that the reason for writing this is just for encouragement. to encourage anyone who is struggling with the devil's lies to pursue God's truth. and to take captive that truth and believe that instead of the lies. God is a God of truth. and He desires for you to live in truth, and not be held captive by lies.

the truth will set you free. 

***many of the scripture references above came from this publication: father's love letter *** Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications © 1999-2011 www.FathersLoveLetter.com

it's all about love.

i had to write a response paper for a class session in my 'foundations for educational ministry' class, so this is what i wrote. i actually really liked it and thought it had some good points, so i thought i would share it here. lemme know what you think :)

We talked quite a bit on Friday about the concept of love. This is actually a concept that I have thought quite a bit about on my own. And I don’t think that the world realizes that love, or the lack of love, can shape a person’s entire lifetime. You’re experience with love can change your life for the better of for the worse. I once knew a girl. Her name was Ellie. When I met her, she was 18 and a high-school drop-out. She was the girl who stood in the corner with a huge sweatshirt to hide the scars that marked up her arms. She had so many war stories; you could fill an entire set of books. She was a girl, who as a child had never felt love. Actually, throughout her entire life she had never felt love. Her parents were around but they cared more about her just being a good kid then trying to help her deal with her problems. She didn’t have many real friends; girls just stayed to manipulate her, and boys just took advantage of her. I can’t even count how many times I would receive texts saying goodbye. Ellie fully believed that to die was better than to live without love. And honestly, I believe that that is true to some extent. To live without love is miserable. But here’s the deal. We aren’t called to live without love. Christ gave us the ultimate love. He is our love, and we are His. Why do we try to live without something that has been freely given to us? We don’t have to live without it. “God demonstrated His own love for us in this: that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Christ loves us more than we could ever explain. We are His, we are precious to Him, we are His bride. He loves us so that we can share His love with others. However, if that’s the case, then why do so many people still feel unloved? If it is our sole responsibility to love others and share Jesus’ love with them, then why do people like Ellie feel so unloved that they feel it is better to die than to keep on living? Is it possible at all to share Jesus’ love with so many people that their experience and opinion of love could begin to change? We discussed in class how people, especially in their formative JH/HS years want to be esteemed. They want to be valued. They want to be important. We are important to Jesus. Every woman, every man, every boy, every girl – they are all important to Jesus. Because He made them. He created them. He knit them together in their mothers’ wombs (Psalm 139).  If God values and esteems every single person, then why can’t we? Why can’t we find it in ourselves to see others how God sees them?

I also knew another girl. Her name was Noelle. Noelle grew up in a Christian home. Both of her parents loved Jesus very much, and they loved her. Even though she dealt with a lot of fear and doubt during the JH/HS years, her parents continued to love her through it all. They showed her that they cared even when she was struggling with really hard things. They showed her that even when she made them mad or sad, they still loved her and were always there to help her. Because of their constant love for Noelle, she was able to make it through these trials and come out a conqueror. But I know that the only reason that Noelle did make it out victorious is because of her parent’s love for her.

Two different experiences, yet they both stem from the same concept: love.

We all have different experiences with love. But our experiences with love will shape our lives. And I really want to issue a challenge right now. What would happen if those who claimed to follow Jesus really took that claim seriously, and they followed Him in His example of love? If they purposed to love anyone and everyone that crossed their path in a given day. If they purposed to be the hands and feet of our precious Jesus, and to demonstrate His love to all the hurting, all the broken, all the lost. If we purposed to love, and to solely love like Jesus, we could do incredible things. So this begs the question: why don’t we?

sovereignity

"all of my life, in every season. you are still God, i have a reason to sing, i have a reason to worship"


wednesday morning i woke up randomly at like 7 am...it was kinda an odd thing. but what was even more odder (yes i know those probably aren't words but i'm going to use them anyways) was that as i was starting to fall back asleep, i thought i heard crying from next door. i climbed out of bed and walked to the room next door and as i was about to knock on the door, my neighbor (we're going to call her Sister for the purposes of this story) walked out with tears running down her face. come to find out, her grandma had died early that morning. now Sister and her grandma we're super close, and this loss was extremely hard for her. she cried for a while, and told me memories of her grandma from when she was little. and then she said something i didn't expect. she told me that even though this was a horrible loss, it couldn't have happened on a better day. i was amazed that in the midst of her fear and sadness and grief, she was able to say that it couldn't have happened on a better day. and here's why. wednesday was a day called the "common day of learning", which basically means we had no class. nothing. so that was reason number one. reason number two is that her aunt (related to the grandma who had gone home to Jesus) was coming in at ten to hang out with her. this had been planned before grandma had gone home. reason number three was that her best friend was coming up around 3 that afternoon. that also had been planned before grandma had gone home. so Jesus had put distractions in place before Sister even knew she needed to be distracted. incredible no? well, that's not all. wednesday night was group, which is SPU's weekly worship meeting. the theme of wednesday's meeting was remembrance and how to make stones of remembrance. i thought of all of the memories that Sister had shared with me that morning and how she had been remembering her grandma, and now we were learning about remembrance. and then, to top of the day, group staff closed out the night with a song called "in Your city" and here's the lyrics. "oh the glorious day when we arrive and Heaven's gates are opened wide. all our fear and pain will fade away when we see You face to face, our great and awesome King. You will reign in brilliant light, forever glorified in Your city. and we, your daughters and your sons will see Your kingdom come in Your city." (phil wickham). i just sat there, smiling like ear to ear. it would be like Jesus to close out a night of worship with a song about His home, about Heaven, about the place where He had just taken Sister's grandma. her grandma was there, grandma was seeing His brilliant light, and seeing His city glorified. grandma didn't have to wait anymore. grandma was there. how incredible, no?

Jesus works in wonderful ways. He knows what is going on. He has His plans. and He works things out in ways that we could never ever ask for. i can't even put in to words how His sovereignty has been shown in my life in the last two months. i once heard a quote that goes like this: "God is sovereign, so i don't have to be in control. God is glorious, i don't have to fear others. God is holy, i don't have to look anywhere else for satisfaction. God is gracious, so i don't have to prove myself."

rest in the sovereignty of the God.

"to man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue. all a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord. commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. the Lord works out everything for his own ends - even the wicked for a day of disaster" (proverbs 16:1-4)

when i was little, i used to get really stressed about things. actually, who am i kidding. i still get really stressed out about things. and i would worry that Jesus would ask me to do something that i couldn't handle. i would look at a situation and say "there's no possible way i can do this". in essence i was saying "Jesus, you set me up for failure." and whenever i would start to think this, my mom would remind me that Jesus would never give me anything i couldn't handle. and this is a trustworthy saying. think about it. Jesus will never give you something you can't handle. He may give you things that stretch you, things that push you to the edge - but never things that break you, things that push you over the edge. God is sovereign. He is in everything. He has power over everything.

looking back over those trials that i thought were impossible at the time, i can see God's fingerprints in the situation, His constant weaving ribbon of hope and guidance and sovereignty in all of those. i can see His careful orchestration and direction. He was always there. He is always there. He will be always there. and He was working things out for the good of those who love Him.

one of the things about christianity that makes it different is that we believe in a relational, all-powerful God.back to the song quote from the beginning of this post "all of my life, in every season. you are still God, i have a reason to sing, i have a reason to worship". through every situation, He is still God. it's not like we get into a difficult situation and God goes "whoops, this is too hard. you go ahead and take the reigns on this one".  thank the Lord He doesn't do that. He is bigger than all of our issues. but the question is, can we trust Him? are you willing to have faith in the fact that He is indeed sovereign and bigger than our problems? because He is. He is bigger. we could take it back to veggie tales and say "God is bigger than the boogie man...". because that is a trustworthy saying. He is bigger than our problems. He is stronger than our fear. He is sovereign.

so i ask you: can you join me in the quest to let go of control, to let Him be the sovereign God He is?

so cute i HAD to post

a lady from my church sent the following text to my mom:

Joe (elementary schooler) - I think my 1st house should be an apartment
Becki (mom) - I think your 1st house should be a dorm
Doug (middle schooler) - it's where you live in college
Joe - WHAT?!? you have to do so much school work you have to live there??

SO cute!!!

"I've heard it both ways..."

This is definitely one of my all time favorite TV shows, so I thought I would share this poster with you all :)