A New Creation

So I've been struggling a lot lately with feeling overwhelmed by things that I have done in the past, by sins that I have committed. I keep getting this feeling that God will never forgive me or love me again, that I've done way to much and He will just give up on me. I know that that is not Biblically sound, but its how I feel a lot of the time. And especially since I moved to school. I want everything that SEEMED good last year to come back, I'm having a hard time moving on. But I also feel like I'm carrying around a huge backpack of my bad decisions that won't leave me no matter where I go. So I've been pretty stressed out at school to say the least. BUT! I went to group on wednesday (which is the youth group at SPU) and the first song we sang was called "Beautiful Things". These are the lyrics:

"All this pain

I wonder if I’ll even find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all

All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us"

Beautiful Things - Youtube

The emphasis at group was on how God created us, and He makes us new. Yes we sin, and sin is a horrible thing. But we are not perfect and therefore we will sin. We will make mistakes! It will happen!! and when we do, God is always there to forgive us and love us even more. The rest of the songs following this first one at group all talked about God forgiving us and making us new.

THEN!

I went to gospel choir last night, for which I was very excited. And we showed up and they normally give a small message before we begin choir because the emphasis in choir is to honor and glorify God with it all! And the message was on this verse:

"See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland."
-Isaiah 43:19

And the person who was giving it was talking about how we have a new year ahead of us and we should focus on what God is going to do this year, not what He did last year or in years prior to that.

Coincidence? Nope.

So I was getting the feeling God was telling me something.

1. That He is making me new. Its not Him thats making me carry around all of my past decisions, its me. He has already forgiven and forgotten them, yet for some reason I still chose to carry them with me. Silly girl. He has forgiven me and He is making me new daily!

2. He has given me a totally new environment to have new experiences. Not that I should completely forgive the old ones, but when I continually look back at what happened last year and not look ahead to what is going to happen this year, I miss the new and exciting things that are going to happen because I'm too focused on the good times of last year. Its like Lot's wife who looked back at the city she was leaving. She turned into salt. God told her not to look back but to embrace what was ahead! And that is what He is calling me to. I know He has crazy awesome plans for me this year at SPU, and I just need to learn to be excited for what He is going to do THIS year!

So that's my story. Hope it encouraged you in some way.

Oh and by the way, college is amazing. just sayin =)

loves!
Tay