identity.

(i cannot take full credit for this. while i wrote it all on my own, the reason i even started thinking about this and seeing the truth in the verse is because of a podcast on identity, part 1, by mike erre with solid rock church in portland, oregon. go check out his podcasts because they're incredible!)

identity. this is a subject that i firmly believe many people struggle with, i know that i do. the fight against whether our identity comes from appearances, boys, girls, money, success, etc. we fight it day in and day out. but heres the thing: all of those things will not last forever, they come and go.

senior year, one of the many nights that weren't going so great. i was sitting on my bed, and allowing satan's lies to run through my head. i'd gotten tired of fighting them, i'd gotten sick of saying no. it was easier to just let him speak and to believe him than to fight him with the Truth. and the biggest lie that satan was getting me to believe was that i was worthless, i was deffective, God made me with some sort of disorder or wierdness and that was the reason i felt alone. that i was just an afterthought. i wasn't important. i know it probably sounds silly right now, but i know for a fact that one, these thoughts can be beyond destructive to the human mind, and two, as i'm learning, that i'm not the only one who has felt like this. if you've ever thought these thoughts, or allowed satan to speak these same lies to you, please continue reading. because what i'm about to say next blew my mind away.

i was listening to a podcast on identity the other day. and the first part used the following verse as its backbone:

"for He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight [without defect]" - ephesians 1:4

okay. so i love the book of ephesians. always have. i've probably read it about a hundred thousand times. but here's the thing about the Bible. the Bible is the living, breathing word of God. now combine the living breathing word of God with the living breathing Holy Spirit that lives inside of you, and you get revelation. you can read a verse a lot of times, but the Holy Spirit could give you a new understanding of that verse each and every time. and thats what happened with me and this verse. let's break it down.

"for He chose us in Him" -- okay. God chose us. think about that. God. chose. us. so pretend this little kid goes to the store and his mom's only instruction to him was "choose a toy that you would like and we can buy it". now if that little kid's like me, i'm not going to choose a toy that needs lots of repairs, that will always need new batteries, that isn't no fun to play with, that makes me look stupid, anything like that. no i'm going to chose a toy that i love. a toy that is blameless in my sight. a toy that i will have fun with. a toy that is perfect. now. this is what happened when God chose us. He chose us. meaning He had to pick us. He had to actually say "I want her or him". it wasn't a "oh great, okay fine lets go", it was a "look! I want that one. that one is perfect, wonderful, magnificent". and this is how God sees us. perfect, wonderful, magnificent.

"before the creation of the world" -- before the world was even made, God had chosen us. so before we even existed, He chose us. He knew what we were going to do and every move we were going to make before we ever even made it. incredible huh? in psalms 139 says that "all your days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be". He chose us before we existed. that's incredible love, no? to say "i want him/her and they aren't even alive yet, but when they become alive i want them."

"to be holy and blameless in His sight" -- we are perfect in His sight. perfect. holy. blameless. some Bible's say "without defect". we have no defect. it's actually this without defect part that hit me when i heard it. back to that night during senior year, i kept telling myself that there was something wrong with me. there was a reason that i felt alone, and i felt like people didn't want to hang out with me. there was a reason...i must be wierd or awkward or creepy or something. but thats just me. i must have been made that way and there's gotta be a reason, but i don't know what. then mike erre said this passage. without defect. i have been chosen in Christ and He views me as without. defect. i'm perfect in His sight. oh my goodness. how can this be? i feel so worthless and messed up, but the creator God chose me, and even after the miracle of Him having chosen me, He continues to say that He sees me without defect. wow. mind blown. and He sees us all this way. we are holy and blameless in His sight. oh. my. goodness. i feel so undeserving.

so i encourage you. those of you who have struggled with the same lie, and those who struggle with other things as well. i encourage you to embrace your identity in Christ. you are a new creation. He has chosen you to be His sons and daughters. chosen you. and He sees you as perfect and without defect. perfect and without defect. if you get a chance today, take a moment to thank Him for that, and then please, please, remember who you are in Christ and the identity that you have in Him. You are His child. His heir. His love. His chosen.