hurt

i have pretty much the smallest pain tolerance in the world. you think i'm kidding...i'm not. when it comes to physical pain, i'm about the biggest wimp out there. each and every one of us have a degree to which we can withstand pain. for some (like me) its a little amount, for others (like a friend of mine in grade school) its a very large amount. 


pain, in its very essence, is something that intrudes on the beauty of life. often however it makes us aware that something is wrong. when you break a bone, i'm told it is extremely painful. the reason is because your leg is trying to tell the rest of you that something is very wrong, something isn't going right, and you need to fix it. and sometimes that fixing can cause more pain then there originally was so that in the end the pain is eventually gone. usually if nothing hurts, nothing is going wrong. 


however, like we all know, pain is not only physical. it can be emotional as well. this type of pain is called hurt. whether its hurt caused by relational issues or personal issues or past issues, hurt can be detrimental to a person. and often, when we are in the midst of hurt, we can't find a way to see past it. that's all that matters. just the hurt right then and there, and it seems impossible sometimes that life can ever be hurt-less again. i have had hurt get to a point where i can no longer sleep because it hurts so bad. sometimes i think that emotional hurt can be so much bigger than physical pain. it can hurt even more. for a time in high school, i had nights where the emotional hurt was so big i couldn't even dream of ever overcoming it. i had tried certain things to make it go away, but none of them were successful. i felt so overwhelmed. 


when you read through the psalms, there are so many that portray david trying to glorify God in his pain. it has become a well known christian "saying" now to glorify Him in the rain as well as in the sun. we cannot only have Jesus in the good times, we need to have Him in the bad times too and bring Him glory in both. but how do we bring glory to God when, if we're honest, it can be hard to see Him in the midst of our hurt?


i've been praying and asking God to help me glorify Him in the hurt, and asking for ways to bring Him glory even when i can't always see Him present in my hurt. this has been a prayer request of mine for a very long time as i've worked through different issues and different hurts. and this is what He put on my heart tonight. 

like i said in the beginning, often it takes you going through more pain or hurt before you will reach resolution or healing. anyone who wants to loose weight must first go through the daily struggle of working out and establishing a routine. anyone who wants to heal from a wounded relationship must first go through the daily (and sometimes hourly) re-commitment of that pain to God and to His healing power. a lump of clay first must be molded and formed (which if the clay had feelings, i'm sure that would hurt) before it can be made into a beautiful pot. all of those various forms of pain before perfection mean that change is taking place, something is being made different.

this is what hurt is in our lives.

this is a way God works in our hurt.

hurt is a sign that God is wanting to make something different, He is wanting to change something. if there was never hurt, i would be worried because then God would not be calling to my attention the things that need to change. since we are indeed human, we will never be perfect and therefore we will always have things that need fixing. and even though the fixing often will hurt, it is God who is orchestrating the fixing and indeed He is "fixing".

i don't know if any of this made sense, but it was on my mind and heart tonight. it did bring me comfort as i have been dealing with hurt and healing recently, and reminded me that those hurts are signs of God doing a work and changing something to be more like Him. and i can take pride and comfort in that, because the God of the universe is doing a work in my life. He is molding me. He is changing me. and He will redeem my hurt and healing for His glory.

i think i may have just rambled, but i hope at least the main point stands out. if you have anything you would like to add, please let me know.

i will close with this: thank you Jesus for the fact that you are present in our pain as well as in our joy, and that you see us worthwhile enough to change and mold and shape us into who you want us to be.

shalom.