Peru!

Currently, I am sitting in the Los Angeles International Airport, waiting to board my flight to Lima, Peru in about an hour. I can't believe it's finally here...it still seems a bit surreal.

I spent Monday and Tuesday this week working, then spent the day on Wednesday packing, I spent Thursday with Joseph (we went paddleboating), and then came Friday. First of all, I honestly think it is humanly impossible to pack a bag under 50 pounds for two months. I spent almost four hours on Friday trying to get my bag under 50 pounds, and only by a miracle of God did it somehow get there. I'm not going to lie, I was slightly frustrated. BUT. It made it :) I had a final farewell dinner with my family, and then arrived at the Youth Missions International office in Tacoma at 9 pm to have some preparation time before leaving for San Francisco at 2pm today. And now, the long awaited final flight to Peru is here!

I am so excited to go and see how God is working in Peru, and help in any way that I can and that He allows me to :) I praise the Lord for my travel safety thus far, I have had very minimal flight issues, and found all of my flights (though I was slightly lost in San Francisco, but thankfully found my flight 15 minutes before it took off). I am so thankful for this opportunity and how the Lord has provided for me. I have been blown away by the prayer support from my family, friends, and church, and I am SO very thankful that I have such a family behind me. I know God is going to do mighty things through the next few months, and I cannot wait.

I would just like to ask for prayer for continued safety until I reach Peru, as well as during my stay in Peru. Also, just prayer for the ministry of YMI Peru and that God will bless their efforts as they seek Him and His glory, and purpose to make that known. Thank you so much for supporting me through this, and I will try to keep this blog updated as often as possible.

And I will leave you with this: "But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you and you shall be my witnesses in both Jerusalem, and in all Judaea and in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth" Acts 1:8

Hasta Luego!

johnthirteen

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another" John 13:34-35, ESV

We all know what the first and greatest commandment is: to love the Lord with all our hearts, all our souls, and all our minds. This is what we are to spend our lives doing, purely loving the Lord. However, it isn't left at just this first commandment...there is a second one. One not as important as the first one, but pretty important all the same: and that is to love one another.

Now you would think: love God, love others. Pretty simple, ya? It shouldn't be that hard to live out. Wrong. If you've ever read 1 Corinthians 13, you know that love isn't something small. In fact, there are many aspects of love.

"love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; 

it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; 

it is not irritable  or resentful; 

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 

Love bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures  all things. 

Love never ends."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Now, if anyone thinks that all of that is completely and totally manageable on their own strength, then stop reading right now. Seriously. 

However, here's the deal with love. It's so big, it cannot be done completely or totally by us on our own strength ever. The only way that someone can be completely and totally loved is through the strength and grace of Christ, and only through Him. This side of heaven, we can try all we want to fully love people but we will fail every time because we are sinful human beings. Christ is the only true source of love. 

And then there's another completely different aspect of love. First, perfect complete love is all of those things mentioned above. All of them...all the time. 

Have you ever heard of the concept of a love language? Gary Chapman wrote a book about it, which I've never read. But I think that's where the idea came from. Anyhow, it's the idea that we each give love and feel loved in different ways. I think according to Chapman, the five love languages are 1) words of affirmation, 2) quality time, 3) gifts, 4) acts of service, and 5) physical touch. So the idea is that each of us feel loved or give love in different ways. For example, I definitely tend to feel love through words of affirmation, quality time, or physical touch. I also tend to give love through words of affirmation or physical touch. However my brother does not feel as loved through physical touch or words of affirmation as I do. To him, I would say that he feels more loved through quality time. I hope this isn't confusing. But what I am trying to get at is that everyone feels love and gives love differently. What is love to you may not be to someone else. 

There are two ways I learned to understand this this week. 

First, I learned that in order to fully love other people, I need to try to understand how they feel loved and try to love them in that way. This is a form of selfless love, purposing and trying to share the love of Jesus with others in a way that sometimes may not be comfortable or easy for me. And it's not an easy thing to do, it takes work. Now obviously, you cannot love every single person like this...you don't know every single person. And there are times you are going to fail, we all do. However, if we ask for the strength and wisdom to love others the way that Jesus loves them and the way they need to be loved, then He will equip us to do that. 

Second, I learned that often people love me in a way that I don't feel loved, but they do and so that is their way of showing their love and care to me. I remember many times in JH and HS being frustrated because I didn't think that certain people cared for me because they didn't do such-and-such. But looking back, I can see how they did care, they just were showing it in their own language and not in mine. It just looked different. 

However, when it comes down to the end, we cannot fully love others without Christ. He is the one who loves them through us, and equips us to help share His love and glory with them. I just encourage you to take this idea of loving others in their own language, and try it out. It has really helped me as I seek to know Him better and to become more like Him, and by living in relationship with His people.

Un mes más...

Today is June 20th. Which means in exactly one month, I will be leaving for my trip to Peru through Youth Missions International! I am beyond excited. I really do feel like I can be excited now that school is out and I don't have to worry about homework and exams.

While I have seen God's hand work during the preparation for this trip, I do think that this is the first trip that I have gone on where I really do not know what to expect. I have been spending time in prayer over the last couple months, as well as in preparation through reading and YMI training, and I really feel like God has been telling me to let go of my expectations and to just be ready for whatever happens. To be prepared to do whatever He calls me to do, to help in whatever way I can help, to learn in any way possible, and to always be focused on His glory and His name. However, for anyone who knows me, it's really hard for me to be flexible. While I want to, it's hard to let go of that aspect of control and just completely go with the flow. That being said, I am very excited for this trip and for the opportunity to grow in my flexibility. I am also excited for the opportunity to live with Julio and Rosario, and to be in Peru for two months. It's an adventure that God has opened up for me, and I know that He will be with me every step of the way. I am beyond excited to see what He has in store for this trip.

It is a huge blessing that God has provided the means necessary to fund my trip, I am so amazed at how He continues to provide and support for the things He has called us into. Nothing is impossible with God. However, I would like to ask for continued prayer support. This is my single biggest need, because I know that it is only by God's hand and through Him that this trip is possible and that it will have any impact on me or the people I am with. I am going for the purpose of His name alone, but I also know that the path He has called me to will not be an easy one. That being said, I would like to ask for prayer. Please pray for Julio and Rosario, and their ministry with YMI Peru. I have talked with both Julio and Lucero about the ministry that they do, and I am beyond excited to help in any way that I can. Prayer that His will be done, and that I will have His eyes and ears and hands and feet during this trip. Also, prayer that I can fully and completely invest wherever I am in whatever I do down there. I am a home body, and I know that I will miss my family and friends deeply. However, I also want to just be able to fully invest in whatever God opens up.

Thank you so much for partnering with me in this. I will continue to keep you updated as much as possible at what the LORD is doing, and I am excited to see what lies ahead :) I will be leaving on July 20th, and returning on September 19th.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth." Acts 1:8

To live? Or to survive?

As of the current moment in time, I am a college student. Actually, to be specific, I am a very stressed college student who feels a bit overwhelmed and only has about 2 weeks left before she's a senior college student and has no clue how she's going to get it all done. That basically sums up my life right now. As a result of that, I tend to fly by the seat of my pants. I live from weekend to weekend. I do what I have to do (classes, homework, work) but I am always looking forward to the next break. I also, admittedly, have a tendency to live from nap to nap. My life is based around the next moment I get to rest, to do what I want to do, to do what's easy.

But this is so wrong on so many levels.

Christ came so that we may have life and have it abundantly. So do I really live? Or do I just survive? I survive. And that's all I have been doing for a long time.

We were created in Christ for the purpose to bring Him glory. If you look at Jesus' life, yes He took breaks. We were not created to run 24/7. We need to have time to rest and rejuvenate. But He was very purposeful and intentional about when He took His breaks and how He spent His time during the day.

As I near the end of my second year at SPU, I realize how much time I let slip because I wanted to take a nap or because I wasn't fully invested where I was. Most of the time I just was trying to make it through the day instead of enjoy the day. I didn't look for opportunities to share God's love or share in community throughout my day. While I can see the relationships I was purposeful in and worked hard to invest in them, I can also see the gap of where I failed. And that is what makes me sad. How many opportunities do I miss because I do not focus on living but rather on surviving.

What would it look like if I chose to focus on being fully and completely alive in everything that I do in a day? To not focus on the next big thing, but rather see everything as the next big thing? To purpose to gain all the knowledge I can from each of my classes, to love on people every day at work, to go do my homework with someone else so that I can just be with them and invest in them? I think that if I chose to be faithful in all of these little things, then I would not miss nearly as many opportunities. I would be able to see how God works in the day in and day out, and experience life as He created it to be. To fully live and walk with God in every moment of every day. To live in the present, not the past or the future. To live in Him and His strength, and to take captive every minute of the day to be used for His glory. If I could learn to do that, I think that my life would look very different.

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" Matthew 6:33-34

To live? Or to survive? That is the question. I challenge you to live.

pure. spotless. loved. bride.

greenweddingshoes.com

almost every girl that i know plans, thinks, dreams, hopes, creates, designs, searches, fantasizes, imagines, and waits for one specific day in their life: their wedding day. i'm not going to lie, i do it. i'm at the point in my life where many of my friends are in a dating relationship. at the moment, i can think of nine different people in my life who are engaged, and seven different people in my life who have gotten married in the last year. i'm just at that season of life. and yes, i do occasionally spend time thinking/dreaming/planing about that day in my own life, even though it is quite a ways off :) 

but this got me thinking, what is it about the "big day" that we are so excited about? is it the dresses? is it the cake? is it the people? is it the decorations? why are girls so enamored by this day that we spend so much time when we are little talking about prince charming and wedding gowns? I honestly think that its because as girls, we long to be found beautiful. we long to be someone worth fighting for. we long to be the delight of someones heart. this is how God has created us. our wedding day is usually the day when these longings are fulfilled. we get to dress up in white, which signifies purity and beauty, and join our life to the life of someone who promises us to love us for better or for worse, someone who knows our weaknesses and our mistakes but still loves us and delights in us and wants to become our protector. it is a beautiful day. i can't even tell you how many times i have cried at weddings because i'm so excited. i love seeing the pure joy and beauty that shines from the bride, and the sheer awe and delight that radiates off the groom as his bride is walking down the isle. its beautiful.

so thats a wedding. it is when a bride, pure and beautiful, is presented to the groom to be his. the bride and the groom delight in eachother. the groom becomes a mighty warrior, vowing to protect his bride at all cost. the bride becomes a loving partner and friend, vowing to respect and honor and obey her groom no matter what it takes. the pledge their lives to eachother. 

so why all this about weddings?

in case you don't know, the week before Easter is known as holy week or passion week (i've heard it both ways). this week is for preparation to remember first maundy thursday, then good friday, and finally celebrate Easter on sunday. and why do we celebrate Easter? because Jesus died for us. He fought for us. 

yesterday, my pastor mentioned this verse during his sermon:

"for i feel a diving jealousy for you, since i betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ" 2 corinthians 11:2

this passage is written by paul to the false apostles, and talking about the false apostles being led away from "a sincere and pure devotion to Christ". but it got me thinking, and then painted this picture in my mind. i'm going to try my best to describe it so that you can picture it as well.

there's a girl. she's sitting on the side of the road, in the pouring down rain and mud. her hair is matted to her face, and her clothes are hanging on her like they were three sizes too big. she's got blood dripping from the cuts on her wrist, which were her attempts to deal with pain, and has lost all sense of hope from her eyes. she's sitting on top of a suitcase. shes lost. shes alone. she doesn't know what to do. she was raised in a Christian home, but stopped believing in that stuff a while ago. but something made her remember it now. she falls into the puddle of water/mud and just whispers Jesus' name with tears running down her face. she sits there for a while just in a heap on the ground, helpless. 

got that?

now look up the road. lets say its a dirt road. and someone's walking down the road. i'm just going to clarify, this isn't Jesus. this is just another person. he walks by the girl on the road, and stoops down to help. she looks at him with utter despair, and he begins to talk with her. eventually, realizing that he can do no more on his own, he looks at her and says "come with me. i have something you need to see". knowing that she doesn't have anything else to do, she gets up and goes with him, bring her stuff with her. her suitcase full of secrets and hidden feelings, her hopeless eyes and bleeding wrist and over-sized clothes. 

he brings her to a building, and then into a room. he tells her that he wants to present her to someone. but first, he has something for her. its a dress. a beautiful, white, spotless, perfect dress. she is a bit confused. why would someone want her to wear this dress? it was so beautiful, and she was so not. it was so pure, and she was so not. she didn't deserve this dress. couldn't she just meet this person and not wear the dress? but no, he was insistent that she wear the dress in order to meet the person he wanted her to meet. so she puts it on, and he gives her a beautiful bouquet of spring flowers to hold. still a bit confused and a tiny bit scared, she follows him out of the room.

get where i'm going with this?

he stops in front of double doors. he turns and looks at her. "this is where you go on alone. you need to meet someone. but i cannot come with you, this is your own choice. i'll be here when it is over". he steps aside, leaving her before the doors with the choice to walk through or not. she felt a bit ridiculous. she didn't deserve this dress, or the flowers, or the kindness of this guy. and she was pretty sure she didn't deserve whatever was on the other side of that door, not with everything that she had done. she looked back at him. he had such joy, such pleasure, such excitement in his eyes. something made her want to trust him. so she did. she pushed open the doors, and walked in. 

she's in a small, old chapel. there are stained glass windows lining the walls on both sides of her, with the brightest sunlight she has ever seen shining through them. her eyes look down at her feet. there's a red carpet, scattered with flower pedals going all the way up to...wait. all the way up to a Person. all of a sudden, He's all that matters in this chapel. He was just standing there, staring at her, with a huge smile on His face. she didn't know who He was, but He seemed to know her. "you're here! oh, i'm so glad that you finally came! hurry hurry hurry, don't take your time, please walk swiftly. don't listen to the organ music, it's never on time anyways." she oddly found herself beginning to walk quicker, but still feeling a bit confused and ridiculous feeling. did He know who she was? she finally reached the front of the chapel, and He was still smiling. "please, please stop. okay, spin around. i must have a good look at you". she obeyed, and did a slow spin. "you, my dear, are so beautiful. so so beautiful." she was taken a-back by His words. her? beautiful? no way. He noticed the scrapes on her wrist that had dried up by now, and she thought she saw a tear in His eye. that's weird. why was He crying? most people just scolded her. He looked deeply into her eyes. "darling, you are beautiful to me. i'm so excited that you decided to come to me today. you are mine. i have created you, and i see you as beautiful and spotless and pure. i have fought for you, and died for you so that you wouldn't have to. please, let me be your all. i love you." she didn't know what to say. this Man wanted her. He love her. He fought for her. and after everything that she had done wrong, He still dressed her in white and saw her as pure and sinless. she looked into His eyes, His big caring loving eyes, and said one word: "yes".

hopefully you got the picture i was trying to paint, but i'm not much of an artist and painting is a bit of a difficult task to accomplish via words. but i tried.

essentially, we have been presented to Christ as a pure virgin. we are betrothed to Him. all of our sins are washed away before Him, and we have been dressed in white before Him. we are His. we are called to love Him, and honor Him, and glorify Him. we are called to give Him our hearts. when we are filled with His love, it is then that we can give His love in us to another human (like we do on our wedding day). God does delight in us. we are His. 

like many people i know, i wear a purity ring. it is a physical reminder of where my heart belongs. when i was 14 i made a commitment to God and my parents and my husband that i would keep my heart for my husband and remain pure for him. but that was only part of the promise. the other part, probably the more important part, is that i promised that my heart would belong to God. it is a reminder that even though i do not have a guy in my life right now, i am still betrothed to Jesus. i am His bride. i am His. and i always will be, even after i get married. my heart belongs to Him because He is my first love. and it is out of my love for Him, and the love that He bestows upon me, that i will be able to love my husband one day.

we are His bride. we are the bride of Christ. we have been presented spotless and blameless before Him, dressed in white, as a pure virgin. all praise and honor and glory to the God of creation for that, because He knows we do not deserve that. but He loves us anyways. i am so amazed. i am so blessed. His mercy and grace are so amazing. and i hope and pray that we are able to see, and accept, our identity in Him. we are free. we are beautiful. we are pure. we are spotless. we are His bride.

hurt

i have pretty much the smallest pain tolerance in the world. you think i'm kidding...i'm not. when it comes to physical pain, i'm about the biggest wimp out there. each and every one of us have a degree to which we can withstand pain. for some (like me) its a little amount, for others (like a friend of mine in grade school) its a very large amount. 


pain, in its very essence, is something that intrudes on the beauty of life. often however it makes us aware that something is wrong. when you break a bone, i'm told it is extremely painful. the reason is because your leg is trying to tell the rest of you that something is very wrong, something isn't going right, and you need to fix it. and sometimes that fixing can cause more pain then there originally was so that in the end the pain is eventually gone. usually if nothing hurts, nothing is going wrong. 


however, like we all know, pain is not only physical. it can be emotional as well. this type of pain is called hurt. whether its hurt caused by relational issues or personal issues or past issues, hurt can be detrimental to a person. and often, when we are in the midst of hurt, we can't find a way to see past it. that's all that matters. just the hurt right then and there, and it seems impossible sometimes that life can ever be hurt-less again. i have had hurt get to a point where i can no longer sleep because it hurts so bad. sometimes i think that emotional hurt can be so much bigger than physical pain. it can hurt even more. for a time in high school, i had nights where the emotional hurt was so big i couldn't even dream of ever overcoming it. i had tried certain things to make it go away, but none of them were successful. i felt so overwhelmed. 


when you read through the psalms, there are so many that portray david trying to glorify God in his pain. it has become a well known christian "saying" now to glorify Him in the rain as well as in the sun. we cannot only have Jesus in the good times, we need to have Him in the bad times too and bring Him glory in both. but how do we bring glory to God when, if we're honest, it can be hard to see Him in the midst of our hurt?


i've been praying and asking God to help me glorify Him in the hurt, and asking for ways to bring Him glory even when i can't always see Him present in my hurt. this has been a prayer request of mine for a very long time as i've worked through different issues and different hurts. and this is what He put on my heart tonight. 

like i said in the beginning, often it takes you going through more pain or hurt before you will reach resolution or healing. anyone who wants to loose weight must first go through the daily struggle of working out and establishing a routine. anyone who wants to heal from a wounded relationship must first go through the daily (and sometimes hourly) re-commitment of that pain to God and to His healing power. a lump of clay first must be molded and formed (which if the clay had feelings, i'm sure that would hurt) before it can be made into a beautiful pot. all of those various forms of pain before perfection mean that change is taking place, something is being made different.

this is what hurt is in our lives.

this is a way God works in our hurt.

hurt is a sign that God is wanting to make something different, He is wanting to change something. if there was never hurt, i would be worried because then God would not be calling to my attention the things that need to change. since we are indeed human, we will never be perfect and therefore we will always have things that need fixing. and even though the fixing often will hurt, it is God who is orchestrating the fixing and indeed He is "fixing".

i don't know if any of this made sense, but it was on my mind and heart tonight. it did bring me comfort as i have been dealing with hurt and healing recently, and reminded me that those hurts are signs of God doing a work and changing something to be more like Him. and i can take pride and comfort in that, because the God of the universe is doing a work in my life. He is molding me. He is changing me. and He will redeem my hurt and healing for His glory.

i think i may have just rambled, but i hope at least the main point stands out. if you have anything you would like to add, please let me know.

i will close with this: thank you Jesus for the fact that you are present in our pain as well as in our joy, and that you see us worthwhile enough to change and mold and shape us into who you want us to be.

shalom.

good or great.

"so when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. then the eyes of both were opened..." 

genesis 3:6-7a

"for i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"

jeremiah 29:11

we all have plans. whether we consciously make them or not, we have them. we have plans, expectations, hopes, and dreams. and, as a result of having plans, there are many times where things do not go according to our plan. often, flexibility is a byproduct of having our plans messed with. i can think of so many plans in my life time that have been messed with, from everything to not getting a tree house when i was little (though that was a result of me being a disobedient kid, but my plans were still messed with) to not getting to go to a concert last night that i thought i was going to get to go to. our plans get messed with. change and flexibility is forced upon us. and often, it frustrates us. the unknown frustrates us. as human beings, we like to be in control. i admit it. i am a control freak sometimes. and when people or things happen differently than i planned (because let's face it: even though i think i can control everyone's minds and behaviors, i admittedly have not reached that type of technology yet), i get frustrated. 

there really is a point to this, i promise. 

most of the time, our plans do not line up with God's plans. and then frustration and awkwardness occurs. the result of this disallignment is often our sinful nature, selfish nature, fallen nature, you name it. most of the time the reason our plans don't line up with God's plans is because our plans are for our own glory and God's plans are for God's glory. 

i had a situation in my life where things did not go according to my plan (well, i've had many of these but this is a specific one). but the thing was, i didn't think my plan was bad. from the way i saw it, my plan lined up with God's plan, and it was God-honoring. so why wasn't my plan and God's plan one and the same? why were they clashing?

when God created adam and eve and told them to live in the garden of eden, and to take care of all of the animals and plants and stuff, he gave them one rule: do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. that was the only rule. they could have free reign of the rest of the garden, all its food, all its beauty, everything. just don't eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. one rule. simple, right? ya, uh no. whats the first thing you do when someone tells you not to do something? usually, you end up doing whatever it is they told you not to do. and in this case, satan eventually convinced them to do what they were told not to do.

but here's what i want to highlight from the verse above. "...the woman saw that the tree was good for food..." the tree itself was not bad. in fact it was good. it was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, it has to be good. God created it. therefore, the tree was not evil. and most likely, the tree probably was good for food. so eve's plan was for something that was indeed good. 

except for the fact that God had said no. 

there are two points i want to make from this verse. the first is that sometimes, our plan can be for something that is good. i think back to last year when i applied to be on the youth group band staff here at spu. i applied, went through the entire application/interview/audition process. its a worship band. it was something that honored and glorified God. it was good. however, i didn't make it. for a while i was really frustrated because i didn't see why i shouldn't be on that band. i mean, it honored and glorified God. it wasn't contradictory to Him. so how could it be apart from his plan? many times our plans are good. but God's plan is great. while we think we have the best, God has the bestest. when i applied for the worship team, i even had people tell me i should have been on that team and they didn't know why i wasn't. i realized later that i wouldn't/didn't have the time i needed to invest fully in that team and leadership position, and that because i wasn't on that team i had the ability to invest more in my floor. that was a side-effect that i couldn't have possibly seen coming. it was God's great, which was better than my good. so the take away? often our plans can be for something good, something that could be wonderful and beautiful and good. but God's plans are always great and so much more wonderfuller and beautifuller and gooder than ours could ever be. 

the second point i want to make from this verse is that often God's plans are great, and then we get in the way and we compromise them. i have had times in my life where after the fact, i could see how it could have gone if i had only listened to God but because i decided to step in the way, i compromised His plan and only got part of the awesomeness that He had originally planned for me. because we have a hard time trusting in the sovereign God's almighty and perfect plan, we often can miss out on all that He had in store for us. because of this, we need to learn to trust in His plan and forsake our own so that we can experience all that He has in store for us. since it is the God of the universe who holds our lives in His hand, i'm pretty sure we want to see everything that He is going to allow us to see because He is God and He is wonderful and He is almighty. who wouldn't want to experience every good gift that comes from Him?

just because our plan is good doesn't mean that it automatically lines up with His plan. we need to continue to seek His will every minute and constantly be aligning our hearts with His. 

our God is good. our God is wonderful. our God is powerful. and He has a plan that will honor and glorify Him forever, and that will cause us to honor and glorify Him forever. but two plans cannot simultaneously exist, one simply will win over the other. more often than i would like to admit, my own will wins over God's will. this needs to change. i need to submit my will to God's will, and allow Him to work His plan for His glory. 

are you going for good, or great?